At The Learning Consultants, we have increasingly witnessed an alarming trend of young men, in the 18-24 year old range, who have not fully transitioned from high school into adult life.  

Most of them tried some college, either at the community college level or nearby state school.  But, for a variety of reasons, college never quite took.  Most of them have some type of low pay, non-career building job and most are still living at home.

We call them The Lost Boys.

There are three main points to this article:

(1) to suggest why this trend is occurring

(2) to suggest the need to prevent your teenage boy from becoming one of these Lost Boys and

(3) to suggest the need for action if you have a not-quite adult child in this situation.

Initially, it is helpful to understand how this situation arose.  There have always been young adults who did not excel in school and who were not really suited for college.  In general, these are the boys who are more physically than scholastically oriented. 

During the years of the draft, many of those men would wind up in the army.  Unlike those who were eager to get done with their duty, a good number of them would stay in the army.   Others, having matured during their army days, would transition into the civilian workforce.

Given our then strong manufacturing sector, many of these men, army or not, could find themselves gainfully employed in solid blue collar jobs.  In the summer before I headed off to college, I worked as a shipper on an assembly line.  While the guys in the union did not have glamorous jobs, they made reasonably good money, had a steady job, and community.  They also could take pride in doing various aspects of the work on the line.  

The combination of a volunteer army and well known slide in our manufacturing sector has decimated the standard possibilities for many of these young men.

But, the blue collar work force was not the only place for these action-oriented men to head. Even through the late 20th century, there were solid white collar jobs for those who did not finish college. 

There were jobs on Wall St., for those on the floor of the exchange.  Stock brokers and other sales jobs did not always require a college degree. 

This has changed.  Most every large organization requires college degrees for its white collar work force.  A college diploma is a simple barrier to entry and a way to sort through thousands of applicants.

What formally was a large separation between those who finished high school and those who did not have a high school degree has shifted to a large separation between those who finished college and those that do not have a college degree.

Indeed, there is no longer a radical difference between someone who finished high school and never attended college and someone who dropped out of college.   In both cases, employment prospects are extremely limited.

In terms of the points to consider as a parent, those who become Lost Boys do not emerge suddenly at 18.  The tracks of their trail are obvious straight through high school.  If they are not interested in school and have grades that will prevent meaningful college choices, then they are on path to wind up on a dead end career track unless you intervene as early as possible.  Such intervention could be in many forms such as overseeing their homework, visiting colleges, as well as employing any other inspirational strategy designed to increase motivation.

For those who are already in the situation, massive action is required – NOW.                      

Those who dug the hole that put them in a rut do not naturally dig themselves out.  Intervene as aggressively as possible.  Meet with counselors if needed.   Do something.  Anything.  A few years of going nowhere at a pivotal moment in the transformation to adulthood can lead to very challenging circumstances thereafter.

I recently met with a young entrepreneur.  Graduating from Yale with high honors in math, he had his choice of professional paths and employment opportunities.  He chose to start his own company.   Since this has become relatively commonplace, I was not surprised. 

But, I was surprised by his answer to my question about why he chose this path.

I told him that in my generation there was a brain drain of our best and brightest to investment banking, management consulting, law, and medicine.  I asked him if many of his Yale classmates were following these conventional paths to success.  “Sure, some, but, that’s considered the easy way out, the less interesting thing to do, kind of like you couldn’t think of anything else.”

This young man was extremely nice and modest.  In no way was he trying to put himself above others.  But, his answer revealed that the formerly prestigious paths of the high level professions are now considered less prestigious by some than the path of the creators.  He was hopeful that he could create work around his passion and, with some hope, get wealthy enough at a young age to avoid the trade-off of the previous generation: decades of ridiculously hard work for wealth later on in time.

This also led me to wonder: what were some factors that helped put this young man in position to create a new venture?

The answer was a mixture of skills, credentials, contacts, and work character.

In terms of his skills, among other areas, he had developed excellent writing abilities.  In the new world of work, e-mail and other forms of written communication constitute a large percentage of communication.   As a new entrepreneur seeking capital, new clients, business partners and so forth, he sent hundreds of e-mails a week, some quite lengthy, in an effort to get the word out about his company.  That was why I agreed to meet with him.  I was impressed by the quality of his written presentation.  

In addition, his understanding of the numbers required to do well in his business was excellent and his general knowledge of business acquired mostly through reading, since he had no work experience, was outstanding.  

Essentially, the three Rs’ – reading, writing and arithmetic – were developed at a high level.  Sure, he was combining these abilities in a way that would seem foreign to most parents over a certain age but it turns out the fundamentals still matter very much.

In terms of credentials, “Yale” helps open doors to those who might provide capital, become clients or become partners.  This is not snobbery.  Rather, it reflects the simple truth that in a busy world, we need short hand to decide who to meet.  Venture capitalists receive dozens of inquiries every day from would-be entrepreneurs looking for capital.  Most VCs will say that the strength of the management team is the number one criteria they focus upon when prospecting a deal.  Without an established reputation or work history, young entrepreneurs inspire little confidence and rarely even secure meetings.