If I create another edition of Motivate Your Son, I would focus more on anxiety. Teen boys have far more anxiety than would be expected. "Posing" as not caring about school is the pervasive social stance taken by middle and high school boys. Telling their friends that they are anxious about school is one step up from confessing their love of ballet. It's not going to happen.
Within the book, I described different "types" of boys. Of the nine types described, two stand out as having a disproportional amount of motivation issues: Adventure Boys and Go With The Flow Boys. I'll use each to illustrate how such boys cope with anxiety.
Adventure Boys crave freedom (and fun). On the surface, their hyper-energized, attention challenged, and "up" personality belies a level of anxiety beneath the surface. The craving for fun and escape from the mundane appears to be related to rules, structure, and other external forces. Not being able to focus long enough for effective studying seems to be a reaction to escaping from something outside themselves. Partially true. But the root issue is escaping from their own internal anxiety.
Go With The Flow Boys crave peacefulness - or what they might describe in teen vernacular as "being chill". These relaxed types appear easy going - usually too easy going in relation to school! - but part of the reason is that they want to escape the anxiety of anything that causes stress.
When I work with both types, I am mindful that despite their "posing" most are anxious and that part of my role is address those issues.
Within the book, I described different "types" of boys. Of the nine types described, two stand out as having a disproportional amount of motivation issues: Adventure Boys and Go With The Flow Boys. I'll use each to illustrate how such boys cope with anxiety.
Adventure Boys crave freedom (and fun). On the surface, their hyper-energized, attention challenged, and "up" personality belies a level of anxiety beneath the surface. The craving for fun and escape from the mundane appears to be related to rules, structure, and other external forces. Not being able to focus long enough for effective studying seems to be a reaction to escaping from something outside themselves. Partially true. But the root issue is escaping from their own internal anxiety.
Go With The Flow Boys crave peacefulness - or what they might describe in teen vernacular as "being chill". These relaxed types appear easy going - usually too easy going in relation to school! - but part of the reason is that they want to escape the anxiety of anything that causes stress.
When I work with both types, I am mindful that despite their "posing" most are anxious and that part of my role is address those issues.
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