If you are reading a site related to motivating your son, its highly likely that two things are true:
1.) You are a dedicated parent
2.) You are getting frustrated.
First, you should know that you are a good parent. That you are here means you are searching for ways to help your boy or teen boy or young adult man! Most parents give up. It take a lot of energy to be a good parent.
Second, you are frustrated that your efforts have not brought desired results. I empathize both as a coach of parents and as a parent myself.
The most common reaction to frustration is to give up. Most parents hit their wits end. "Let him fail". "I've had enough." "You want to be a bum, then be a bum." I understand this too.
"I've been trying to motivate my son for years..." I hear this all the time. And, then, I will sometimes hear, "I'm ready to give up."
Please don't give up.
Here's why: I met with a family from Old Saybrook, CT several years ago. The son - let's call him "Billy" was headed to college. But, it was evident that he wasn't ready. I suggested a gap year. I don't blame the family for not heeding my advice. I have written about gap years elsewhere and certainly understand the challenge of creating one. In any event, Billy performed as expected and everyone including Billy realized he shouldn't go back to college.
Billy was now 19. His parents, having dealt with Billy's lack of motivation since middle school were "done". Billy got a part-time job at Wal-Mart in Old Saybrook. That was pretty much all he did in a productive way. He played a lot of video-games. He socialized with his friends who stayed local after high school. He probably smoked a lot of pot. Billy's parents called me a year later to catch me up on Billy's life.
Other than their semi-frequent skirmishes about Billy's lack of work ethic, they had stopped trying to seek out solutions. I fully understood. But, I also asked: "what do you think will happen if you don't do anything this year?"
In my experience working with young adult men in these situations, "magic" doesn't happen all that much. The 20 year old sitting on the coach playing video games becomes the 21 year old doing the same thing.
Parents have to do something. Sometimes that "something" is bringing the young man to work with our company. But, regardless, do something. Don't give up.
1.) You are a dedicated parent
2.) You are getting frustrated.
First, you should know that you are a good parent. That you are here means you are searching for ways to help your boy or teen boy or young adult man! Most parents give up. It take a lot of energy to be a good parent.
Second, you are frustrated that your efforts have not brought desired results. I empathize both as a coach of parents and as a parent myself.
The most common reaction to frustration is to give up. Most parents hit their wits end. "Let him fail". "I've had enough." "You want to be a bum, then be a bum." I understand this too.
"I've been trying to motivate my son for years..." I hear this all the time. And, then, I will sometimes hear, "I'm ready to give up."
Please don't give up.
Here's why: I met with a family from Old Saybrook, CT several years ago. The son - let's call him "Billy" was headed to college. But, it was evident that he wasn't ready. I suggested a gap year. I don't blame the family for not heeding my advice. I have written about gap years elsewhere and certainly understand the challenge of creating one. In any event, Billy performed as expected and everyone including Billy realized he shouldn't go back to college.
Billy was now 19. His parents, having dealt with Billy's lack of motivation since middle school were "done". Billy got a part-time job at Wal-Mart in Old Saybrook. That was pretty much all he did in a productive way. He played a lot of video-games. He socialized with his friends who stayed local after high school. He probably smoked a lot of pot. Billy's parents called me a year later to catch me up on Billy's life.
Other than their semi-frequent skirmishes about Billy's lack of work ethic, they had stopped trying to seek out solutions. I fully understood. But, I also asked: "what do you think will happen if you don't do anything this year?"
In my experience working with young adult men in these situations, "magic" doesn't happen all that much. The 20 year old sitting on the coach playing video games becomes the 21 year old doing the same thing.
Parents have to do something. Sometimes that "something" is bringing the young man to work with our company. But, regardless, do something. Don't give up.